Friendships Drifting Apart

7/16/2026

Six adults jogging on a dirt path surrounded by trees in a park

Do you sometimes look back on your life and feel sad that you don’t see certain old friends any more? I think this hit me the hardest in my thirties, when many of my large group of friends got divorced. We were forced to pick sides in each couple and my circle got basically cut in half.

Then we got dispersed by the job and real estate markets. People had to move far outside the city because nobody could afford to live there. Some friends had to go to remote areas for work. It was nobody’s fault — just the vagaries of life scattering us to the wind.

Now, there are only a couple of friends from my school years who I keep in touch with. I see other high-school folks on Facebook, but we are not really close enough to call friends.

I have come to accept that making new friends is key to good mental health and really requires some effort. You need to put yourself out there and join a class or volunteer for an organization that is meaningful to you to meet like-minded people. If you’re still working, invite a colleague over for a BBQ. They will appreciate your effort to get to know them on a more personal level.

Enjoy your summer and be on the lookout for new friendship opportunities!

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11 responses to “Friendships Drifting Apart”

Lissa Johnston

July 17, 2026 at 7:47 am

Another writer friend wrote about this topic recently. Unfortunately, the inspiration was attending a memorial for a friend she hadn’t seen in ages. That was very motivating for her to encourage all of us to see old friends and make new friends while we have the chance.

As for where and how, I have made new friends by participating in local activities in our town, such as the monthly book club and the monthly film club at our library. I also have a wonderful writers group here, and attend the weekly free Spanish classes (also at the library). Another book club meets in a nearby town. There’s also a bridge group and a knitting group and of course political activities. Just have to put your mind to it and get out there.

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1. Naomi Lane
  
  July 17, 2026 at 8:41 am
  
  Wow, you are really active putting yourself out there with various group activities. Wonderful!
  
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DK

July 17, 2026 at 8:56 am

Absolutely true. In your late teens and early 20’s, there’s so much adventure and at that time I had 2 roommates I met through work. We had a great time, weekends were always a party. We met women and each got into relationships and marriages, one was a best man at my wedding and we kept in touch initially but we changed careers and moved further from each other and phone calls became occasional texts saying we’ll get together but it never happened and those early years became a blur. I have a few close friendships from the early years but it’s only the occasional email or text. You grow and move on. I think it’s universal. But I still look back on those times fondly, we had a lot of fun. You live in the moment and new friends emerge from work or similar interests. Just natural evolution. Great blog!

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1. Naomi Lane
  
  July 17, 2026 at 10:06 am
  
  I feel this. Some lost friendships become treasured memories, which is not so bad either.
  
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sdreid55

July 17, 2026 at 12:50 pm

Last time to see if this will work.

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sdreid55

July 17, 2026 at 12:58 pm

Hopefully this will work. I’ve had a heck of a time trying to comment on your posts. I’m sometimes sad about some of the friendships I’ve lost for various reasons: time, distance, differences, lives going in opposite directions. That being said, I’m always happy about the ones I’ve managed to hang onto though no school friends. I have one high school friend on FB, my then best friend, Yvonne, but we don’t keep in touch and she lives on one of the northern territories. I’ve also lost contact, not always sure why, with several family members, but I’m fine with that. I have made a lot of new friends since coming to Nanaimo and still have some long term (50+ years) friends on the mainland. It’s impossible to hang onto all the people one comes across in life. Some I’m sad to have lost, but new ones make up for the loss.

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1. Naomi Lane
  
  July 18, 2026 at 8:01 am
  
  Thanks for your personal take, Sharon. It’s sometimes hard for me to imagine that a friend as far away as NWT is just as accessible to talk as one right around the corner. Somehow Zoom doesn’t feel the same as face to face, right?
  
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Sophia

July 19, 2026 at 8:17 pm

Yes friendships are so important! As new parents we are making a lot of extra effort to build new friendships with other parents. I’ve never met a people more open to making new friends than new parents! We all have the mindset of “oh goodness, you’re going through this too? Let’s hang out” haha. I think new chapters bring new relationships, and that’s ok, but it does take work, and grieving your old relations I think is a healthy part of the process.

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1. Naomi Lane
  
  July 20, 2026 at 8:40 am
  
  Of course, having a baby can feel very isolating. Good for you for putting yourself out there and finding other new moms.
  
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Albatz Travel Adventures

July 21, 2026 at 1:04 pm

Hi Naomi, I’m glad you’re now on WordPress, it makes it easier to keep in touch. And the Island is not far, but you’re right, as we age it becomes harder work to get up and out and do the kind of weekend trips we used to do all the time! A friend says that as you get older proximity is the most important factor in keeping up with friends. And now I’m going to try to contact a friend from 50 years ago that annoyingly moved from the West End to West Kelowna…

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1. Naomi Lane
  
  July 22, 2026 at 7:12 am
  
  Yes, it’s true. Since I moved away from Vancouver, I am making new friends who live close by.
  We become more practical as we get older. Good luck connecting with your old friend.
  
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