Struggling with the Holidays

As the Christmas season looms, many people do not feel excited at all. In fact, I have several friends who boycott Christmas entirely, since it brings on traumatic memories of past family disfunction. Our consumerist society has placed so much pressure on us to buy, buy, buy that most people cannot afford Christmas anymore. Most people I know are barely getting buy, trying to cope with the terribly high cost of rent, groceries, and gas.

So, why do we allow ourselves to get into such a flap? We need to lower our expectations and reinforce simplicity in our celebrations. The joy we try to create through hosting friends or family should involve everyone sharing the load. Instead of trying to do everything, ask them to each bring a food dish to reheat in the oven or microwave. This will give you time to sit down and enjoy their company instead of overworking yourself. Or assign them a job in your kitchen, for example, John will be on gravy this year and Mary will prepare the Brussel sprouts.

Assign a small monetary value to any gift exchange and draw names so they only have to buy one thing. Dollar store gag gifts for the adults are entirely appropriate. Even better, request handmade gifts only, such as baking, jams, plants, or crafts. This allows children to get involved too. Alternatively, ask each person or family to share a game instead of gifts. This makes for some after dinner fun.

If you are alone this Christmas, look for a community event that you might enjoy. There are many local tree lighting festivals, sing-alongs, potlucks, charity fundraisers, and church groups available in every town. Volunteering to help out at one of these can lift your spirits and help you make new social connections.

So, let’s try and keep things in perspective. Remember, Christmas is just one day and then it’s over. Relax, carry on with your life, and don’t worry about it. You can choose to go big or do nothing at all and either way, you are fine.