Adult Children Living at Home Longer

Nowadays, it seems that many parents of adult children are still supporting them well into adulthood. I know a good number of friends whose kids are still living at home past age thirty. Is this solely driven by necessity? Is it a healthy option for both parties?  

With so many people struggling financially, I’d say it is largely out of necessity. The job market is dismal with so many people laid off due to Covid. But even before the pandemic, monthly expenses are much higher now than when I was just starting out. The cost of cell phones, internet, utilities and cable is almost the same as a car payment now. The cost of food relative to a starting wage is very high, especially if you want to eat meat. If you live in a city, public transport or parking is expensive. I can understand why our youth cannot afford to move out.

For the adults, who longed for a little alone time or privacy when the kids grew up, many are having to postpone their second honeymoon. It’s good when they ask their adult children to increase their contribution to the household chores and expenses, to teach them responsibility. However, this is a double-edged sword, because any money they contribute only slows down their hopes of saving up to move out.

The grown children feel torn. On the one hand, they appreciate their parents backing them up in hard times. On the other hand, they resent them for being in their space and imposing rules. They desperately want their independence but cannot afford to move forward. Add in their desire to pursue a relationship or sex life, and you get the perfect recipe for frustration and arguments.

I think that during Covid, having more people in one house has probably brought great comfort to all family members. The opposite – isolation and loneliness- are much worse. Family members have learned to lean on each other more during this difficult time and to look out for each other’s health and safety. This has been a good lesson for youth on caring for their elders; even if they will run off to Europe to get as far away from their parents as possible when this pandemic is over.

What are your thoughts on leaving home versus staying longer with parents? Please subscribe and comment.