Divorce Makes You Stronger

Divorce is one of the most painful processes you will hopefully never go through. It makes you feel like a failure on about seventeen different fronts, especially if kids are involved. You feel like you have let down everyone you know who came to your wedding, especially your parents (if they are in your life). The wedding seems like a total sham now. You feel like your social circle has been torn apart and rejected by anyone who remained loyal to your ex and dumped you as a friend. You feel like a loser parent to your devastated children and then have to go around explaining it all to their teachers, coaches and friends’ parents. Then you have to explain it all over again to your own work colleagues. Their sympathy only makes you feel more ashamed.

Then comes the horrible mess of signing agreements, dividing assets and deciding where to live. This rarely stays amicable and you will be hard pressed to remain civil in front of your children, even with the best of intentions. Sparks will fly and you will both say things you later regret. Mix in a new love interest on either side and you can triple that emotion.

I am here to tell you that it gets easier. After a year or two, you will be able to look at your ex and wonder why you ever married them. As soon as you find a rebound love interest, you will feel amazingly better. Your self-esteem will crawl out of the toilet and you will realize that you are worth so much more. Your children will adapt to their new routines and your new life will begin in earnest.

You won’t even realize that you have grown much tougher. You have just weathered one of the most difficult storms life can throw at you. Your kids are okay and you have found your own circle of support who remained loyal to you through this whole ordeal. These are true blue friends to be cherished. They have seen you at your worst and they still love you.

So if you are going through a divorce right now, I truly feel for you, but you will survive and come out better than before. You will have learned to set boundaries and say what you need. You won’t take any lukewarm affection from partners any more. You will know that you deserve to be adored. You will always put your children first and you will find a way to put food on the table, with or without a partner. You are a warrior! 

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