Fear of Change

My lifelong dream has been to live by the ocean, but now that it’s becoming a reality, why am I feeling so overwhelmed? 

Moving is always a daunting amount of work, especially as I get older. I find that I can only pack three or four boxes and then my feet and back are sore and I need to stop. Thankfully I have enough time to do this gradually, since we are not moving until the end of September. Yesterday I noticed that my husband was fatigued as well, although he would never admit to it. I want to make sure I don’t ask too much of him because I tend to be a taskmaster by leaving him annoying lists of jobs to do. He is too kind and obliging at his own expense.

I am also feeling guilty because we are moving farther away from my mother-in-law, who we adore. We will have to take a ferry to visit her so it will be twice a month instead of every week. She has been really kind about our decision, but I know it’s not easy to accept. 

I also feel overwhelmed emotionally. I have tremendous difficulty with saying good-bye to friends without bawling my eyes out, so I avoid it. I know this is probably not healthy or mature in any way, but I will reach out to them afterwards and invite them to come and visit. Hopefully they will understand why I snuck out the back door.

Finally, I know I will miss the place I live now. It is beautiful and I know every nook and cranny of my town and have some great connections here, like my volunteering. As my husband said, we are soon getting to the age where we won’t be up for many more big adventures, so the time is now or never and we should go for it. It’s important to reach for your dreams in life before it’s too late.

Have you ever struggled with moving? What was the hardest part for you?