Food and Trauma

*sensitivity warning: WWII, Holocaust, passed-down inter-generational trauma*

(photo by Ray Shrewsberry on Unsplash)

My parents both served in WWII, when food was both rationed and scarce. My father was a German Jew who got out of Nazi Germany just before the war. His little sister was put on the last Kindertransport train to England by herself, at age eleven. Both his parents were killed.

Therefore, it would come as no surprise that there were some strange eating habits for me growing up. My parents ate as if there would be no tomorrow — with great speed and gusto. There were never any leftovers in our house. Therefore, we were all overweight, to varying degrees. I exercised compulsively to try and overcome this.

When I visited several of his surviving relatives over the years, I noticed how food was coveted. My aunt in Amsterdam would not let us throw away three-day-old rice, even though it was dried out and crunchy. This was not surprising, since her parents had hidden in the fields, starving and eating tulip bulbs to stay alive, and were finally killed in Auschwitz.

On a more positive note, when my dad arrived home from work every evening, he would announce, with great satisfaction, what he had bought for lunch and how much it cost, proud that he had found the best bargain available in the whole city of Vancouver. “Today I found a ham sandwich, a piece of cheesecake, and a nice cup of coffee for $3.49!” It was his own little celebration of being able to afford a treat, which became a source of great amusement for the whole family.

I have inherited some of my parents’ trauma habits around food. It drives my husband crazy that I will never throw any leftovers or browning fruits and vegetables away. I will always peel off the bad bits and use what I can. I can still hear my mother’s voice saying, “You can’t throw that away!”

Trauma informs every aspect of one’s life. It permeates our DNA at the very core of our being. This is why psychologists coined the term “intergenerational trauma”. You cannot erase your family history — you can only accept it and learn to cope with it. Sometimes, it takes counseling to undo old patterns.

Have you inherited any strange habits around food from your parents or grandparents? Please comment below.