Valentine’s Divorce

(photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash)

With Valentine’s Day rapidly approaching, what better time is there to talk about divorce? This is not cynical, it’s just a reflection on how we can come out the other side of this nastiness with some enlightenment. This, in turn, can lead to happier, lasting love the second time around.

So if you should find yourself in the midst of a breakup at this time, take comfort in knowing there will be greater love in your future. You will make better choices and be clear about what you need in a partner moving forward. The dew is off the lily, so to speak, and you will not move in with someone so quickly. You will know your criteria for a life partner and share this information up front.

Divorce is painful and ugly, especially if there are children and/or cheating involved. I remember saying absolutely horrible things to my ex during our split.  After spitting anger for a year, I gradually calmed down once I settled into my new single-parent life and I began dating again. I don’t wish single-parenting on anyone. It is damn hard work with little reward, especially if you are working full-time. It took me four years to find my forever partner.

If you are going through a divorce, the most surprising thing you will learn is that you can actually find friendship with your ex on the other side. It takes time, but eventually you will remember the qualities you appreciated about the person you married and you will see them in a different light. They will shift to feeling non-threatening and you will both be able look back and remember the good times. As you co-parent, you will learn to rely on each other because it is necessary for the kids’ wellbeing. All the hurt will gradually fade away. Trust me on this.

So I wish everyone a happy Valentine’s day, but if you are going through a painful break-up, you are not alone. You will get through this and come out stronger and happier. Please share a comment about any break-up you have survived below.